I am currently writing a novel, and I need to have your honest opinion of the beginning:


Let me tell you a story, starting from the beginning.


"No no no no no!" Winter raced through the thick woods trying to find a safe place to hide.


There was no place to hide, all she could do was run.


She couldn't turn back, because behind her was a killer. A psychotic killer who had slaughtered her entire family, and is now after her. She is scared, hurt and desperately trying to get away. The killer was a demon, and she was a powerless human. There was absolutely no way she could outrun him, but she could try. Winter was a survivor. And she strives to survive any situation, even insane demonic ex's named Cain.


So there she was, running for her life. And all she heard was her own heartbeat, her own breathing, and the crunch of the leaves and snow beneath her feet. She also heard him. He was getting closer and closer shouting horrible things her way. She could hear his feet pounding close behind. She was running from the man who trapped her and promised her eternal suffering so long as she still existed. Ten minutes pass and she can't bear the pain in her legs from running. She can't hear his shouts, so she slows an hides in a hollowed out tree. She knows she is not safe, she never was safe to begin with. so she just sits there and waits. She's only human, so she can only run for so long. Her legs are tired, screaming at her in agony. And her heart is pounding right out of her chest.


"Winter~ Come on out my snowflake, I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to see you" She could hear his sadistic cooing echoing through the trees, his voice alone sent shivers through her very soul. The voice of a psycho that wanted to see her suffer. It terrified her and she constantly wondered why it was her he went after.


"WINTER! I know you're hiding, i can't hear your footsteps anymore." He was shouting now, and judging by the near frantic footsteps, he was close "Come on out now, I WILL FIND YOU!" Her hear rate increased ten times over and she struggled to breathe, she was having a panic attack. She cried letting all the grief of what had just happened sink in. She let the fact that her family of 6 little brothers was just slaughtered sink in. She let the fact that she brought him to her family in the first place sink in. She let the fact that she was useless sink in. And she let the fact of her impending doom sink in, and she cried. Then she saw him, he was right in front of her tree. She continued to cry softly, letting out pained whispered screams. He yanked her out by her arm and held her arms tight and just smiled at her.


"Got you now little snowflake. It's time to bring out the sun so you can melt away." She stared in his eyes, shaking her head no, she couldn't speak, she couldn't move, and she was scared as hell. The scene from afar would look like a wolf that had just caught the sheep.She, like the sheep, was petrified realizing her fate and scared as hell. And he, the wolf, grinning at his prey knowing he has her caught. There was nothing she could do. So he dragged her back to her house, the same house that he turned to a slaughterhouse for her family.


In the living room where her little brother lied mangled in the corner, he let her go. She immediately collapsed to her knees staring at the ground in fear, disbelief and pain. She couldn't get up and run because her legs were tired and practically useless as of now. She was useless.


"Why so grim love? You did this to yourself. You and your little ways that got me to fall in love with you. A sheep and a ravenous demon. How'd that turn out for you?" Cain grinned. She didn't answer. she just kept quiet.


"Well then, you must know what time it is now don't you?" She did. He was going to send her to a hell. A world she knew nothing of, a world full of danger that she would be trapped in, for eternity. She did not move, she just waited for her fate to come.


Continued in comment because character limit breached.

Answer:

Explanation:

"...even demonic exes named Cain".

"...so she slows and hides in a..."

"...knowing he caught her".

"Why so grim, love?..."

Lovely! Keep up the good work, but work on those last few in the comments, thank you!

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Select 2 choice(s)

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​

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making

Item 16
Review the scenario.

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3
50:28
Albel
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O journal article about the diet written by a government
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Save and Exit
Next
Submit
Mark this and return

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a. Must trot
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19. If you plan to take a long trip in the car, you get a full tank of gas or you might run out of
A Should
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What’s the answer to this question